Archive for the tag - gay men

5 Fitness Mistakes Gay Guys Make…

August 11, 2015 By

gay men gym working outNone of us are perfect. Not even gay guys. 😛

In my experience, there are a few mistakes that gay men, in particular, tend to make when it comes to the gym, fitness or nutrition. And before anyone throws a temper tantrum in the comments below, these mistakes are obviously total generalizations and don’t apply to all gay men everywhere.

So without further ado, these are the mistakes that gay men tend to make:

  1. Sleeping where they lift. Because a good hookup is easier to find than a good gym, don’t sleep where you lift. Unless you really don’t mind seeing a parade of one night stands each and every workout, source your sex life elsewhere. That is, of course, unless he’s worth switching gyms for.
  2. Skipping leg day. Though applicable to gay men in particular, it’s my humble opinion that leg and glute muscles don’t get enough loving from men of any sexual orientation. Because biceps and chest muscles are flashier, they receive a disproportionate amount of training. Beyond the aesthetics of a balanced physique with strong leg muscles and glutes, having a strong lower body provides benefits including improved performance and decreased injury risk.
  3. Not eating carbs. Somewhere at some point, people got the idea that carbohydrates are a bad thing. And for some gay men, a bread basket might as well be the Apocalypse. In reality, our bodies need carbohydrates to function properly; eliminating carbohydrates isn’t a smart idea. Instead, focus on cutting simple carbs (like those found in sodas, sugary drinks, white bread, pastries, etc.) in favor of complex carbohydrates like brown rice and whole wheat products.
  4. Hiring the “hot” trainer. How your trainer looks is less important than how he or she teaches. Sure, eye candy is enjoyable but it’s the connection that matters. You need a trainer that works will with you, and that helps you achieve your fitness goals. How he or she looks isn’t a factor in getting you from point A to point B.
  5. Starving yourself before bottoming. I’ve heard many gay men say that they starve themselves before bottoming in hopes of achieving “cleaner” intercourse. To them I say, no man is worth your health. And that communication, respect, patience and understanding are all far more important to being a good partner than unrealistic anal expectations.

We all make mistakes, but it’s through our mistakes that we are able to learn and grow. So if you’ve experienced any of the above, consider today an opportunity to evolve.

What other workout or nutrition mistakes do you see gay men make? Let me know in the comments below.

P.S. If you’re looking for a workout program that you can do at home, download Davey Wavey’s Bootcamp Workout and get started today!

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WTF: Half Of Gay Men Would Die For The Perfect Body.

June 17, 2015 By

perfect-male-bodyHow far would you go for the so-called perfect body? Diet and exercise? Plastic surgery? What about death?

According to one study, 48% of gay men would trade a year of their life for the perfect body. And a staggering 10% of those respondents would trade 11 years (or more!) if they could have that perfect body right now!

There’s a few reasons why we shouldn’t be surprised.

First, it’s not just gay men. A lot of straight people would die for the perfect body, too. A survey of British women ages 18 to 65 found that nearly one in three would trade a year of their life for a perfect body.

Second, we know that gay men are particularly dissatisfied with their bodies. Study after study has found that body dissatisfaction is highest in gay men. We are more dissatisfied with our bodies than straight men, lesbians or straight women. As such, it’s not shocking that more of us would die early for the perfect body.

Third, when it comes to body image, gay men really experience the perfect storm. Sure, coming out and being rejected by family and friends or experiencing discrimination may have some impact on the way we see ourselves - and our bodies. But lesbians experience a relatively high level of body satisfaction, so that doesn’t tell the complete story. And yes, gay culture is very body-centric; we see images of go-go boys in speedos or underwear models with six packs. But straight culture directs similar and even more pervasive imagery towards straight women. So why do gay men hate their bodies even more?

I don’t think gay men objectify men’s bodies any more than straight men objectify women’s bodies. But with gay men, we also happen to live in the same bodies that we objectify. If a straight guy likes a woman with big breasts, he’s not necessarily going to beat himself up for not having boobs. If a gay guy is attracted to pecs, he may become upset with himself for not having them. And therein lies the difference.

So what’s the lesson to be learned in all of this? When it comes to body image, gay men have a lot of work to do. But where there are great challenges, there are also great opportunities.

In the comments below, I’d love to hear your thoughts for learning to replace some of that body hate with love.

P.S. Recognizing that rebuilding and repairing the relationship with your body is the foundation for any true and lasting transformation, I worked with psychotherapist and spiritual weight release coach Diane Petrella to put together a fat loss program based on self-love. It’s very different, but very powerful… feel free to check it out.

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Why Gay Men Hate Their Bodies.

October 23, 2012 By

As a gay man and as a personal trainer, the issue of gay men hating their bodies is one that strikes close to home. And as someone who struggled with anorexia for years while growing up, this issue is personal.

There’s been a lot of discussion in recent weeks about why gay men hate their bodies more than straight guys, lesbians or even straight women. But I don’t think anyone is getting it right - so I decided to weigh in on the issue of gay men and body image.

Here’s why (I think) gay men hate their bodies so much.

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Gym Tip for Gay Men: Don’t Sleep Where You Lift!

October 2, 2010 By

They say you shouldn’t shit where you eat, but I say you shouldn’t sleep where you lift.

A few years ago, I joined a gym while spending the summer in New York City. I was going into my senior year of university, and it took me a while to find a gym that didn’t break the bank. When I finally found it, I was delighted to discover that it was full of gays. One guy, in particular, tickled my fancy - a tall glass of dark and handsomeness named Helix. And so when we caught eyes, the rest was history.

I committed the cardinal gay gym sin: I slept where I lifted.

The only thing harder than finding a good man is finding a good gym. The search is long and hard (much like Helix!), and once you finally find a gym that works, it’s important to hold on to it. You wouldn’t want to risk spoiling a good thing, right?

What I didn’t consider is that I’d see that I’d see Helix the next day. And the next day. And just about every day thereafter for the 4 months that I lived in New York City. The encounter that Helix and I shared was great, but it wasn’t something that I wanted to repeat or continue. Luckily, it didn’t get complicated and Helix wasn’t overly persistent, but seeing him everyday did make things a bit awkward.

The bottom line is this: Don’t sleep where you lift. Save that for the internet.

What gym tips do you have for gay men? Share ’em with us in the comments below! I may feature some of my favorites.

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Yoga and Gay Sex: What You’re Missing.

September 3, 2010 By

This position may give you a few, um, ideas.

When you think of yoga in the western world, you probably conjure up images of middle-aged housewives wearing Lululemon spandex. There is probably some truth to that stereotype, but more and more people are discovering the benefits of yoga. Including gay men.

The first time that I really tried yoga was senior year at university; I took a course on the subject. I was surprised by the class, and the amazing benefits that I was enjoying. And yes, some of the benefits were enjoyed between the sheets, such as:

  • Improved endurance. Yoga increases your lung capacity, which, in turn, improves performance and endurance in sports and sex alike. You can push yourself harder, faster and longer. As Martha Stewart would say, “it’s a good thing.”
  • Increased flexibility. Being able to tie your feet in a knot behind your head just may change your sex life forever. In all seriousness, an increased range of motion opens up sex to a wide range of possibilities. The impossible becomes possible, and the number of positions are limited only by one’s imagination. Headstands, binds and splits all make for some interesting options.
  • Better circulation. Yoga helps get - and keep - your blood flowing around your body and, in particular, to your pelvic region. It promotes healthier skin and organs, your penis included. It may not be Viagra, but it is natural and without the side effects.
  • Yoga boosts your energy. Like exercise in general, yoga helps keep your energy levels up. It’s better than a cup of coffee - so no more “I’m too tired” excuses.
  • Improved self-image. Yoga can make you feel a lot better about yourself. Confidence is sexy - other people will take notice.
  • Be more sensual. Yoga promotes a deeper awareness of one’s body and the sensations that it produces - including the really wonderful ones experienced during sex. Deliciousness.

Of course, yoga’s benefits go beyond the bedroom. You’ll also enjoy better posture, more controlled weight, inner peace (hopefully!) and improved concentration to name a few.

So, sign up for a beginner level class. Don’t be intimidated, even if there aren’t any other men in the class. Or download my Underwear Yoga program and try it at home. Use promo code “sex” during checkout (before Sept. 5) to save $10 off the purchase price - and if you’re not happy in 30 days, return it without a question asked.

Anyway, maybe those Lululemon-wearing middle aged housewives are onto something. Maybe it’s time for you to give yoga a try.

Have you ever taken yoga? Did you enjoy the class, and why do you think so many men are afraid to try it? Let me know in the comments below.

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