Today’s
Do you postpone buying special clothes because you’re not thin yet? Are you delaying that cruise until the weight comes off? Have you missed your high school reunions because you feel self-conscious about your body? If so, what are you waiting for? It’s time to reclaim your power and live your life now!
Life on-hold
When you give your weight too much importance or negative attention, you stop living your best life. You may feel crippled by shame and not value yourself enough to feel you deserve the best. Or, you may overvalue the opinions of others and allow those opinions to govern your decisions.
By letting your weight limit your choices, you give yourself a double whammy. You’re first distressed over how much you weigh and then distressed over how your weight stops you from doing what you want to do. This removes you from the fun in life. And by staying home you become vulnerable to emotional overeating which, like addictive behavior, intensifies with loneliness and isolation. But when you take charge of your life, you are in control of your weight; your weight isn’t controlling you.
You deserve more
Commit to no longer letting self-consciousness run your life. Make a list of all the things you would do differently if you were thinner. Start with what’s easiest. Take baby steps. Then start doing those things now!
For example, my client Ellen wanted to take exercise classes at a local health club. Even though it was affordable and conveniently located, she resisted joining because she felt self-conscious about her body. She wanted to lose more weight first. She understood the faulty logic behind this because she knew exercise would help her release more weight. And she really wanted to take those classes! But feelings of embarrassment controlled her. She broke free by making the commitment to no longer be controlled by the opinions of others. She soon developed the confidence to take charge of her life. She improved her self-talk and used visualization to mentally practice new behaviors. Little by little she developed the courage to attend one class. Then another. And another. Those baby steps helped her take the final step to join the health club.
As soon as you commit to taking charge of your life, trust that you will discover within yourself the resources to succeed. Here’s a strategy to help:
Practice this:
- Think of one thing you stop yourself from doing because you feel self-conscious about your body.
- Now ask yourself, “If I were at my preferred weight, what would I do?” Or, another powerful question is: “If I felt totally confident, and loved myself unconditionally, what would I do?” From that place of confidence, then:
- Use visualization to picture yourself doing what you want to do while feeling confident and self-loving. Rehearse that scene in your mind. If this is difficult at first, that’s okay. Visualization takes repeated practice and commitment. Take your time and set the intention to reduce the power your weight has over your decisions.
- To support your efforts repeat the following affirmation: “Every day in every way I am more confident and in control of my life.”
Positive affirmations plant in your mind the inner seeds of success. Repeat daily and frequently.
What would you do if you felt totally confident and self-loving? What are you waiting for?
I love almost everything this article has to say. I know I don’t know you enough to use your first names but thank you so much Diane and Davey for doing what you do. It more than likely may have just been me, but the message you put out seems to be changing slightly for the better. I haven’t pin pointed it out yet, but even a guy like me feels more included in the party!
However: I am not sure if either of you are aware of the MAJOR mishap with this article. Your use of the philosophy “control” is dangerous for anyone who struggles with eating/food. In fact, like an addict, that is the precise dilemma. The only healthy way I am aware of make ones life easier is to admit this very unmanageability and give it up to the universe.
Other than that little slight, this article reminded me of why I dislike those Kellogg* cereal commercials. A person dorsn’t need to lose weight and then step on a scale to feel “spunky, flirty, joyous, talented, beautiful, sexy…” Go out and be those things anyway. So thank you so much for sharing this fun and free essay with all of us. I hope the world for the both of you.
The most of thank yous,
S. Lewis Jean
P.s. Please forgive the length and grammar. =)
Dear S. Lewis Jean,
Thank you for your comment! I’m glad you enjoyed this article. I appreciate your feedback regarding the use of the word “control” and I understand what you mean . I’m using the words “control” and being “in charge” of one’s life as meaning the same thing. And I see how it can be interpreted as trying to “control” the uncontrollable. That’s not my intention. I’m glad you saw beyond that to best receive the spirit of my article. Thanks again for your comment and your kind words. I wish you the best. Warm regards, Diane
Great article. Very informative. You should check out http://www.lose54.com. Helped me out a lot.
I’m really glad I stumbled upon this article because it helped give me the push I needed to start visualizing my goals and figuring out how I am going to attain them. I have held off shopping for new clothes, I avoid going to the beach, I don’t let my partner see me in anything but subdued lighting, my self-esteem has plummeted and as a result, I have resorted to eating my feelings of shame, guilt, and self-anger.
This article,in particular, the question of “If I felt totally confident, and loved myself unconditionally, what would I do?” made me think and so I decided to journal my answer. I was surprised at what came out from the tip of my pen and how I created a long term goal with an action plan of how I am going to achieve it. I will visualize and continue to journal throughout my journey that will return me to the self that I love again.